Title : My Love, My Kiss, My Heart
Cast : Eunhyuk and Donghae (Super Junior)
Rating : PG-13
Length : Oneshot
Genre : Yaoi, Tragedy, Romance
“I’m sorry for not being by your side when you need me.”
“Please don’t talk Hae; I know we’re going to get through this…together.”
“I can’t, Hyukkie, I’m sorry… I love you.”
“I-I love you too…”
The hallways of SM’s top floor were dead silent as it was nearly midnight. The only sound to be heard came from a large practice room belonging to one of the leading stars in the hallyu wave, Super Junior. But instead of ten members, only one was present, trying to perfect his moves for their next comeback song.
Eunhyuk had been repeating his solo for about five times, hoping that he wouldn’t unintentionally fall during the performance. He was too absorbed into the routine that he didn’t notice a young man in tousled brown hair approaching him.
Donghae pulled him into a tight hug. “Let’s get back, okay?”
Nodding, the anchovy picked up his bag and headed out with his couple. Most of their fans thought of them as close friends, but they were actually in love with each other and had been dating for quite some time.
“Oh no, I’m not gonna let you drive.” Laughing, Eunhyuk took the car through the deserted streets of Seoul.
“I know, I’m probably the world’s worst driver.” Donghae joked, bursting into a wide grin. Gosh, how Hyuk adored that sweet smile that could make every girl’s heart melt.
“Hae, it’s our anniversary tomorrow. Let’s eat lunch somewhere to celebrate.”
He bit his lip. “I-I’m booked for the whole day. I’m sorry …”
Eunhyuk sighed. Donghae’s schedules were so packed for the past three weeks that he hardly had any time to sleep, let alone spend some quality time with his boyfriend. He missed him: the feeling of being in his arms, sharing a laugh or two, and his eyes that were as calm and beautiful as the East Sea. “Its fine, I understand.”
There was an awkward silence between them, and neither spoke up throughout the whole journey back to the dorm. As soon as they arrived, Donghae stepped out, facing the blonde-haired boy.
“Hyukkie, I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
“Look, you don’t have to blame yourself for…” He began, but Donghae leaned closer, kissing his couple gently. He pulled Hae to deepen the kiss, and they had to break it off soon to gasp for air.
“Are you okay now?”
Eunhyuk smiled widely. “Yeah, for a short while back there.” He slipped his hand through Donghae’s and they went up the stairs together.
The sky was turning light blue with streaks of yellow, a sign that dawn was approaching. Although it was barely three in the morning, Hyuk was unable to go back to sleep, partly because he noticed that Hae’s bed was already empty which was unusual since he normally woke up at six.
As he reached for his phone at the bedside table, he heard two voices chattering to each other and slowly opened his door. Eunhyuk knew enough that it was impolite to eavesdrop but he couldn’t help it. He immediately regretted coming out of his room as soon as he saw what was happening in front of him.
Apparently, Donghae was in the middle of a conversation with a girl he didn’t recognize. She smiled sweetly as she spoke, her slim figure leaning against the wall. Suddenly, Hae surged forward and embraced her, an excited smile on his face.
Eunhyuk felt himself flaring up in anger. “LEE DONGHAE!”
“Hyukkie?” His boyfriend turned in surprise, and was taken aback when he saw the anchovy’s expression. “I-It’s not what you think it is. I’m not…”
“What? Cheating on me?” He said through clenched teeth. “Maybe that’s why you always came back late, you must be out dating that slut.”
The girl went pale in horror at the words, and Donghae shook his head violently. “You know how tight my schedules are, and I would never do that. You know how much I love you, right?”
“I don’t know, Hae, and I don’t give a damn.” Eunhyuk trembled, grabbing his coat. “I need some fresh air.” He slammed the door behind him.
“I’m sorry, Sooyoung, I’m sure he didn’t mean it.” Donghae apologized quickly. “I-I have to go now, okay?”
“Of course.” Sooyoung gave a small smile. She was still recovering from the incident, but understood the reason of why Eunhyuk blew up. He bowed before taking off in high speed, chasing after the love of his life.
Meanwhile, the lead dancer was already quite far away from the dorm and had finally let himself cry. He couldn’t believe that Donghae betrayed him, leaving him as if he was nothing but a pest.
“I hate you.” Eunhyuk pursed his lips, passing through a dark alleyway. All of a sudden, three bulky men appeared out of nowhere and stood around him, blocking all possible exits.
“I believe I recognize you.” One of them, obviously the leader, spoke. “Well done, Lee Hyukjae… taking you as a hostage will earn me a lot of ransom money.” As quick as lightning, the other two grabbed the blonde singer by the arms and covered his mouth to keep him from screaming.
“Mmmmh!” Tears of terror trickled down Hyuk’s cheek. One particular tattoo-filled guy kicked him, causing his feet to burn and forcing him to fall to his knees. The only thing that went through his mind was: Am I going to die now?
There was a sudden crash, and the next thing he saw was Donghae throwing punches at the man who kicked him.
“DON’T. YOU. DARE. TOUCH. MY. HYUKKIE!” With each word, he battered the gangster’s face, leaving him breathless and drained out of energy. He turned and drove the others away before kneeling down in front of Eunhyuk, embracing him tenderly. Eunhyuk sobbed in Hae’s arms.
“It’s okay, you’re safe now.” He kept repeating in a comforting tone, trying to calm the shaking boy. Hyuk looked up into his eyes.
“Yeah?” Donghae seemed pleased at the nickname, as he had always loved being called Prince.
“Prince Dong…” Eunhyuk stopped in horror and shrieked. “BEHIND YOU!”
Donghae whirled around just in time to prevent him getting hit by the leader. Hyuk dragged himself to the corner, hugging his bruised knees. The fight seemed to go on forever, although both had started to grow weaker by the minute. In pure anger and frustration, the leader whipped out a sharp knife and aimed for Donghae’s body.
It felt as if time has slowed down. Hae collapsed on the ground, bleeding and motionless. The gangsters had somehow disappeared into the light and left us alone in the middle of an empty street.
“Please, please, don’t die…Hae, stay with me.” Eunhyuk’s shirt was soaked with tears and Donghae’s blood as he brought the injured boy to his lap.
His eyes were fluttering. “Hyukkie…”
“Just keep looking at me and stay quiet.”
“Listen, I don’t have much time.” Donghae held his hands tightly. “I’m sorry for not being by your side when you need me.”
“Please don’t talk Hae; I know we’re going to get through this…together.” Eunhyuk struggled to hold back his sobs. His boyfriend reached out to brush his blonde hair away from his face, revealing his red eyes.
“I’m yours and I forever will be. But you’re stronger than me, you always are.” He whispered. “I can’t do it, Hyukkie, I’m sorry.”
“You can, I know you can. Don’t leave me, please…”
Donghae winced in pain and spoke, his voice getting hoarse. “I’ve never been the best for you, I-I hope you will find someone that will care for you more than I did.” He smiled weakly. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Hae. I never stopped loving you from the first time we met.” He choked.
He stroked Eunhyuk’s cheeks, his smile getting slightly brighter. “I know, Hyukkie, I know…” And that were the last words Donghae said before he let out his last breath.
A silence fell among the crowd of people, all dressed in black, as the priest began to speak. Cameras flashed once in a while, trying to capture the young man lying inside the polished wooden coffin. His pale lips formed a small, peaceful smile, his hair slightly covering those brown eyes that will never open again.
Sungmin took hold of my arms in attempt to steady my trembling body. He looked at me in concern. “Are you okay, Hyukjae?”
“No, I’m not. T-This is all my fault…he shouldn’t have died.” My voice shook.
“He chose to do so; you couldn’t have done anything about it even if you tried.”
I was about to reply when Leeteuk stopped me, and I could see him swallowing his tears. “Eunhyuk, let’s go for a short walk.” He said quietly.
I stared at him. “R-Right now?”
The leader nodded, pulling me away from the mourning people. None of the reporters seemed to notice us, or was too busy snapping pictures of Donghae to even look.
It wasn’t exactly ideal to take a stroll in a cemetery, but Leeteuk didn’t seem to mind. After a few minutes, we stopped.
“Did you know how much Donghae loved you?”
“I do, hyung, and those were one of his last words.”
“I know.” Leeteuk bit his lip. “The girl you saw him talking to… she was a florist. He was ordering roses for you.”
“R-Roses…?” I was stammering as he continued.
“Hyuk, he loved you so much that he used up the money he was saving to buy his mother a gift to prepare you a surprise party. He bought you this as well…” He took out a small box and opened it, revealing a simple silver bracelet with the words Jeongmal saranghaeyo etched on it.
I was sobbing uncontrollably as Leeteuk hugged me. “Here…” He handed me a blue envelope before walking away towards the funeral. I drew a deep breath and opened it, revealing a handwritten letter.
Five years ago, I met the most amazing young man, Lee Hyukjae, whom I have treasured for all my life. He was a good friend, and an even better boyfriend. But you know what, I’ve always been scared…scared to think that I was never good enough for him, scared that I kept disappointing him in everything I do.
We’ve spent four years together as a couple, and all those times we spent together, those memories we’ve shared…I’ve always cherished them. I’m sorry if I wasn’t whom you wanted me to be, but I just want you to know that no matter what, I will always be here, in your heart.
Hey, today’s our anniversary, you thought that I forgot, didn’t you? I got you something, and even if you didn’t like it, it’s okay for me as long as I could keep seeing that beautiful smile on your face. I don’t want you to change, because you’re perfect the way you are.
I love you, Hyukkie.
I felt my legs giving way as I fell onto my knees on the ground. My Hae…how could I think so badly of him? He wasn’t the failure, I am.
“Donghae-ah, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” I looked up to the sky, tears falling down my cheeks. “I know you’re listening to me right now, so…I promise I’ll move on, but I will never forget you.” I could feel warmth spreading all over my body.
I smiled softly. “Saranghae…” I could’ve sworn that I could hear his lovely voice in the midst of the wind, answering me.
“Saranghae, I love you too, Hyukkie.”